Cyberdating problem

Some 18 months on, I've discovered him online dating again. He's undermined our marriage once more, but denies this is infidelity as he's 'just looking' and doesn't do anything!

I disagree as I've read some of the exchanges - he says he's not married, then when they get to a 'let's meet' point he doesn't go. I've lost all trust and can't tell truth from lies.

“Realize you’re in the friend zone and it’s time to find someone who does want a real relationship – which is the main reason people go online,” points out Julie, who speculates he may have already found someone else, or he may simply be after the ego boost of having someone of the opposite sex to talk to.” If you can’t get to the next level with this guy, Julie figures you have two choices.

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He’s very open and honest and answers any question I put to him, so I know he’s not married or living with someone – but I just don't know what to do now. Tell him you enjoy his emails and phone calls, but you’re ready to meet in person.I'm 51, I work full time and have been married for 30 years, with two grown-up children - one of them still living at home.The past ten years have been challenging as my husband had to work 80 miles away, living two lives as he splits the week between job location and home.Three years ago, at 50, he had a classic midlife crisis (his words): new 'boy band' hairdo, jive lessons ( without me), going to the gym, trendy clothes, a second mobile - and online dating.He went to counselling alone, refused to go as a couple, and I believe he wanted to end the marriage. I was so frightened I did all I could to cling on, as I know he was close to leaving for good.He was remorseful and said it was 'an escape, a fantasy' to help him cope with his job, my illness and so on.

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