) can stay with us for a lifetime if we don’t take an active course in diminishing it.
One of the more discernible ways that predict whether we fear rejection or fear intimacy is in our “attachment style,” a trait rooted in our childhood that extends into our adult relationships.
"I'm driving him away, I just know I am," she sniffed. If I don't know exactly where he is I get suspicious. Let's look at this in more depth: When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships. When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things 'going wrong' (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us.
"It's just that I love him so much and I can't bear the thought of losing him! These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. And, of course, we usually find what we're looking for, even if it isn't really there at all. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?
The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn.
They'll imagine the bored look on an air steward's face to be barely concealed terror because, "He must know something we don't!
Gaping holes in self-esteem may feed the agonizing feelings of jealousy and paranoia.
When you feel unattractive and unlovable, it’s easier to be carried out to sea by a relentless, surging current of insecurity, reports Marano. There will always -- reiterating always -- be someone who is more physically attractive, more charming, talented and more intelligent than you, and it may be a tough pill for you to swallow -- but there it is.
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Raj Raghunathan, an associate professor at the University of Texas in the "Psychology Today" article titled, "Overcoming Jealousy." Your ancestors who obtained more food, shelter -- and yes, emotional intimacy with a partner -- increased their likelihood of survival.
Jealousy is interwoven into the fiber of your genetic fabric, so your feelings are normal.
Do you tend to feel insecure in your relationships? When kids become distressed, their parents may give them extra attention.
Then you might have an anxious attachment.“Anxious attachment is a way of describing the way some people connect with others — especially emotionally significant others — in their lives,” said Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph. Individuals with an anxious attachment believe they’re flawed, inadequate and unworthy of love, she said. Some infants perceive their parents as inconsistently available, which distressed them (understandably so, “children need their caregivers for their very survival”).